Tag Archives: blogsphere

Type of bloggers – part 2 ;)

If an arbitrary post, unrelated to the preceding one can be called a sequel, then yes, you are reading one.  And hence, your decision to skip the prequel (my posts, I will call them whatever I wish) shouldn’t be a deterrent for you to fathom the path breaking revelations that I am trying to make.  As a matter of fact, after reading this post, you might realize that it probably wouldn’t have made any difference if you had skipped this part as well.  However, now that you are here, see if you can endure the pain and read a few lines, and lest you have recently been unceremoniously escorted out of your office because of your voting spree during working hours and now you have ample time to vote, read and comment, then you might want to skim through part 1 as well.

Today, we will take a sneak peek into the lives of voters, including me (needless to mention here that I will be the hero in this story), and will also discuss people we regularly stumble upon in blogworld.  Love them, hate them, and at times we need to ignore some of them as well.  Those who are counting on this post to unravel the mystery of parliamentary election voting and assuming that by the end of this post (and subsequent discussions, if any) India’s fate will be decided can be rest assured that I have no intention of indulging in such heinous acts.  We are referring to indivotes here, which, apparently, you have absolutely no clue about (and I can see the fate of this post on indivine).  So, you can just read this post as a ………………… ummmmm ……a post.  Also, you might differ with me at many points and your inner voice will scream out at the end of each paragraph, “THIS GUY IS A FRAUD!” but I am not going to argue with you because you are my visitor and visitor is god.  So yeah, you do have a valid point; now, can we begin this mudslinging session?

Before I proceed any further, allow me to inform you that I am one of those aggressive voters who can promote your posts even before you submit them on indivine.  Not too long ago, I used to follow a preposterous process of reading each and every post before promoting them; however, as time progressed and I was getting bombarded with votes from individuals who wouldn’t recognize my blog if they allow the page to load, I found it little difficult to read all their posts, as part of the return visit regime, within a stipulated time of 24 hours on a given day.  And thus, another legendary voter was born.  I, perhaps, owe it to the individual who pioneered the art of blind voting, laying a foundation for generations to come.  After reading a post, we anyway promote it irrespective of whether we like it or not, so why read it in the first place?

These days, I scour through the bays of indivine to identify potential voters.  From broken links to grocery lists and from suicide notes to medical reimbursement bills; I promote everything that indivine approves as a legitimate link.  In an unprecedented move to unite the entire nation, I vote for posts in diverse languages; viz. Tamil, Telegu, Gujarati, Bengali and so on.  Some of them return the favor and the rest consider this as the beginning of a long term association, and most of the time my dashboard looks like this:

type of bloggers - part 2 ;)

Being academically challenged has been a boon for me till situations demand application of complex analytical skills, e.g. common sense.  Hence, I ascribe the raison d’etre for this noble gesture (illustrated in the image) to the contents of my blog and to secure some future votes, I embrace new alliance.  For next one week I read and promote all the posts submitted by them, but on 8th day when I present my solitary post, they renege on the silent vows that we made to each other.  Like Karan-Arjun’s mom, I pacify myself by saying, ‘They will come,’ and continue to refresh statcounter.

Rose-pink light of dawn penetrates the darkness of the night and my post still awaits the arrival of Karan-Arjun with moist eyes.  It needs a stalker like me to discover that those new friends are on indivine reading and promoting all the posts ignoring the ones which are there on their respective networks.

Now, I am getting this strange feeling that this post is not going to get more than 5 votes.  Anyway, my next category of bloggers demonstrates an inexplicable and bizarre trait.  Their primary objective is to accumulate as many votes as possible by promoting least number of posts (they are probably oblivious of the fact that voting on indivine doesn’t involve monetary transaction), a reminiscent of an MTV roadies task where the participants are asked to buy an astounding number of items by judiciously spending a fund of 5 rupees allocated to them.  This task is accomplished with a tactical move by dodging past the posts of bloggers, who have already voted for them, with the help of this following maneuver:

type of bloggers - part 2

They are blessed with the memory like an elephant and can recall activities of each and every blogger even while on the verge of a cardiac arrest due to frantic voting.  Thumb rule – please follow ‘you vote first’ policy for them.

The cribbers:  Perpetually livid over the dearth of visitors on their blogs; however, as their powerful writing covers all the essential elements of everything one can think of, they prefer to read their own blogs whenever they switch from a writer to a reader.  They disdainfully ignore comments of ordinary bloggers like us but vehemently complain about less number of comments coming from indiblogger.  They are the shining lights of moral and ethics who condemn blind voting but go on a voting spree as and when required.

Like books kept in the library, their posts are displayed on indivine for lesser mortals to enlighten themselves, and the degree of fury (due to lack of visitors) is directly proportional to the number of posts they submit.  This act of generosity is a testimony to the fact that a decent number of bloggers are not aware of how a blogger network functions.  If they had the right approach then they would have been reading and appreciating few posts and not fuming at the sight of those posts getting read and promoted.

Indiforum – where delusion wears the veil of excellence:  A platform for creative minds to congregate and +1 each other the entire day.  Unless you are one of those 5 – 6 people who spent half their lives on indiforum in search of nirvana, you might not get your queries answered (your gender plays a key role here as well).  However, you can start a thread titled ‘paid writers required’ and see the magic.

Nah, I am not done yet. I need one more post to discuss the following:

  1. Indiforum (with examples)
  2. Copycats
  3. Phony bloggers
  4. Something which I haven’t decided yet

Also, I have realized that after that post I actually have nothing to write about ….hmmmm….lucky you!!

More blogging thing – type of bloggers ;)

With SEO guidelines weighing heavily on my mind, I tried to venture into an unfamiliar territory called subject-oriented writing, only to realize that my subjects were left in the wilderness and the posts defined their own paths; and eventually, the topics had no relevance to the contents of those posts. In addition to that, my endeavor was marred with poor keyword selection and lack of substance. Hence, with a heavy heart and bleary eyes, I head back to my genre i.e. meaningless posts with incoherent thoughts (it would be a daunting task to differentiate between my subject-specific posts and my meaningless posts).

I am going to contradict my statements a few times in this post and will try to justify all my unscrupulous acts, albeit I am getting this strange feeling that my comment section is going to look like this from now on:

comment

one of my old posts

If you believe in love and peace, then you may choose to avoid this post; however, in that case your abstinence will be attributed to your affiliation to any of the categories mentioned below. Please note, I have ensured that my current, former, or future visitors are not discussed here; so, get a cup of coffee and wear that devilish smile as we set out in pursuit of some sadistic pleasure. Call me hypocrite, call me odious but don’t forget to vote for me while leaving.

1. Self-proclaimed intellectuals: They graced this earth with a mission to transform our lives; however, the chances of them blessing your blog with a visit are pretty slim unless you are any one of the following:

  • A bespectacled guy.
  • Someone analyzing the sky in his/her profile picture. (I tried that but it looked more like a spondylitis attack than a gaze into oblivion, hence it couldn’t produce the same magic.)
  • A perpetually grief-stricken social reformer.
  • A historian.

As a matter of fact, you might not be fortunate enough to get your comments acknowledged by them as your comments are a disgrace to the literary world. Of course, if you are a girl/lady then it’s a different story altogether. I am sure, my cheap and gross profile picture is giving you a rough idea of how my blog would have been rated by them. On rare occasions, when those reverent bloggers visited my blog, their preconceived notion governed their action and they left without reading a single line. They use their words frugally on comments and comment replies and never use smileys.

2. Aspiring intellectuals: Cynics call them sycophants and cronies call them loyal. A subcategory of the above and they exhibit similar traits blended with a tinge of desperation. They join a blogger network and quickly shortlist intellectuals and elite bloggers, and the process begins. Throughout their lives, they follow them everywhere; twitter, facebook, google plus and other platforms where opinions are exchanged and/or hurled at unsuspecting victims. They emulate them to the tee and eagerly await new posts from their deities for continuing enlightenment. Their admiration on the comment form can be misconstrued as an essay on a freedom fighter. Even though they read only quality stuffs but some of them don’t deprive us completely. They add us on indiblogger providing a wonderful opportunity for us to read their masterpieces in future (only as a reader; preferably without posting any comment).

3. Smart visitors. It’s a vast category which encapsulates one and all from the blogsphere; you, me, that guy in orange shirt; everyone. I am not going to discuss about this category in details because self-criticism is not regarded as a wise thing to do. Like Undertaker, we disembark from Death Valley into blogsphere on a full moon day and suddenly become the most genuine reader the world has ever seen. We are in love with your blog again and our lives depend on it. As we go on a rampage, our new post discreetly announces its arrival on the recently submitted page of indivine.

blogger

4. Twitter followers: They have absolutely no business with your blog. They don’t comment, they don’t vote nor do they have any intention of a future visit; they just click on follow me on twitter button and leave forever. The person up in the sky wouldn’t be able to comprehend the rationale behind this act of generosity. By the way, I have one abandoned blogspot blog with no post, but it has 5 followers. Perhaps, those visionaries anticipated some impending revolutionary work there.

Anyway, guess I need to come up with another post to cover all the categories because most of us are not fond of reading long posts, that too if it’s a poor quality post like this one.

I will not make a fool of myself by saying that I don’t get perturbed by these individuals or their activities. If that was the case, I wouldn’t have been sitting and writing this Ram kahani. However, I don’t have any malice against anyone; I love every single blogger, especially the ones who garner high votes and comments. The following flowchart will illustrate the pitfalls of despising popular bloggers:

flowchart

ideally, should have kept it for part 2 but was dying to show my expertise

Hence, please don’t hate any blogger, love thy brethren. You vote – I vote, you comment – I comment; it’s a win-win situation. There is nothing called a bad blog. Every blog is unique in its own way, every blog has a story, every blog has a face behind it. It’s for us to decide which story we want to hear and where we feel that the user name and the face behind it are not two different personalities.

Ok, now that I have made a complete mess of this post, let me wind up. You can write anything on the comment form, there is always room for healthy discussion (I will edit those comments anyway). Take care, keep voting, and don’t lose your genuine readers. When you are overwhelmed by the accolades from all the smart visitors like us, don’t ignore that familiar handle, somewhere in between, trying to put a smile on your face.