There are places known for their scenic beauty, there are places known for history and culture, there are places known for generating employment opportunities, and then there are places known for…uh, nothing. Since time immemorial, those unfortunate souls who have visited such places for no discernible reason, have only left with few unanswered questions:
- Why is the bank on top of a fish market where every customer was carrying one fish each?
- Why doesn’t that restaurant have an entrance?
- What was that tree doing there in the middle of the road?
Well, I am talking about my hometown where common sense takes a backseat and we move ahead. These disjointed anecdotes in this post would be of no use for you as I don’t see any reason for you to consider this place as your next holiday destination unless you land here one day because of a misdirected flight or a cyclone.
We, Bengalis have an uncanny ability to pronounce each and every word in Hindi in a unique way; however, we never shy away from the challenge when situation demands; our eagerness to demonstrate our expertise in the language is known to one and all. Conjuring an exact amount of courage which is usually required to fight in Kargil, we initiate a conversation in Hindi every time we meet a non-Bengali. Within few seconds we gradually start relying more on body language with sporadic intrusion of larynx for this newly invented language before capitulating to the enormity of exhaustion and resorting to sign language. This phenomenon can be observed quite often these days as few outsiders have carried out this logic-defying act of residing here. Although our endeavors haven’t earned us any praise hitherto but our drive to explore unfamiliar territories will never die down. So, just wait and watch.
The airport primarily has few scattered, bewildered local staffs who exchange blank stares all the time and ponder, ‘What are we doing here?’ There are two flights which take off every day; one goes to Calcutta and the other… yup Calcutta. The runway is a visual treat just like the roads outside, but don’t worry, they can weather anything. Conquering all fear, obstacles, uncertainties, and potholes, the flights take off miraculously and immediately take a vicious U-turn while you wonder, ‘Why cannot they just take off from the other side?’ (You would be able to relate to this ‘take off’ situation only if you are an avid follower of Hollywood action movies where a total catastrophe transpires in the last scene before the hero stops the flight with his left hand while holding his girlfriend with the right to reinstate peace and serenity in the world.). Duration of the flight 60-90 minutes, drive from my home to airport – 2 hours.
Morning sunshine illuminated his face as he set his foot on our doorstep for the first time…no no, I am talking about our regular plumber here. As per usual custom, we offered him some money as a token of appreciation 
once he finished his work. An avatar of Anna Hazare evolved in front of us as he asked with moist eyes, “Are you trying to bribe me? I get a salary from my employer.” Ashamed of this heinous act we apologized immediately and he left with a righteous look. Piercing through the darkness of the night, he appeared again after few days, with a subtle disoriented gait (which an expert like me could easily notice). After finishing his work he stood in front of us somehow, holding the door, and pronounced in an incoherent voice, “You actually didn’t pay me anything last time.” Our faces glowed with happiness and relief as we completed the customary practice. Life does give you a second chance to redeem yourself.
If for some reason you need to undergo a surgery, then please hand over the insurance papers, property details, bank account details to your spouse, children, parents otherwise it would be virtually impossible for them to enjoy the benefits and you won’t be able to do much from heaven. You might say doctors here are incompetent, I would say they are philosophers. Death is inevitable, so why prolong this painful and grueling process of survival? And hence, to ease the problems of mankind, each doctor here has opened one hospital each where they welcome you with a celestial smile, “May I help you?”
I can go on and on but I have decided to reduce the length of my posts, and hence, I am not writing a conclusion kind of thing as well, I mean, what you guys call epilogue (thank god, I couldn’t come up with anything). Also, I wrote this post assuming that no one in my town reads my blog but you never know, I don’t want to pay a heavy price for my assumptions. I shouldn’t get carried away and write about that bakery guy who gives me credit all the time with a smiling face (till I am standing in front of him) or the mobile dealer who gives me SIM cards, pre-activated in the names of imaginary subscribers. Well, there are few good things about my town as well e.g. world’s first ever polo club was established in my town or the first ever all-woman crew flight in the world landed here, but am I supposed to talk about good things 
?
About Debajyoti
I needed to smile a bit (please do not consider this in any form or fashion a judgment on the humorous content of your post), I’m in a situation where smiling openly and laughing will take some time. Your post enabled that tiny smile. You will never know how thankful I am.
oh i m yet to proofread my post, so i myself dunno what i have written. thanx for ur comment.
while writing this reply i have gone through ur post. i m glad that everything is fine with u and ur family. take care.
Thanks Deb, it’s faith in God and prayers and wishes from good people like yourself that saved us.
lovely post and thanks for making it short..
I can imagine the things you described, it is better to live in small town and that freedom will not be available in crowding cities !
Kind of fulfilled post from you..
yes its really peaceful out here.
thanx for ur comment
2 hours to airport for a 60-90 minute flight now thats something .. you need a flight to go to the aiport first
and loved the bit on doctors yeah thanks to them population is being controlled a bit
hey thanx bikram. i usually publish my posts on monday morning to spoil the week for everyone. glad u liked it
I think I am getting addicted to your style of writing. It’s fresh and personal, nothing fake about it
Ye!
I haven’t been to Calcutta or Bengal however I have known so many Bengalis. I kind of like Bengalis. My close friend from school is Bengali, my tutor in school was Bengali and he introduced me to an English tutor and thankfully now I can write in English because of her
I think, I would like to photograph Calcutta…
Cheers
~ Chintan
hey thanx Chintan. its a huge compliment. i was about to make some correction in my post but now i ll leave it like that
. thanx again 
.
A very nice, fun and personal account of Silchar. Loved it.
Bank on top of a fish market?
And btw, one of my closest friend, Ananta Mandal, a Bengali. He speaks superb Hindi. I learnt a lot of Hindi from him as well.
And the plumber part was too funny. Life does give us a second chance to redeem our-self.
Hopefully next time I would love it if you elaborate on the final three lines of this post. Some more good things about your town.
PS: My Bengali is very limited but lemme ask you this, “Kabar Keincho?”
I think I got that wrong.
this bengali of urs sud qualify for the special category of newly invented languages
last three lines, well there is not much, but i guess it sud be there on wiki. i give u inside scoop
thank u so much for this nice comment
Haha! You don’t expect your Bengali friends to teach you good Bengali, do you?
They told me it meant (or something remotely sounding to that)… “Had your lunch(food)?” If not then plz enlighten me.
ummm yeah its cool
thanx for reading subho.
Bengali are so lovable…And so is their hindi…:)
Small town are lovely too as they have their own character. Enjoyed this post…Brought back memories of my hometown…
thank u so much Saru. and yup small town is fun
the first para was a rocker!! i burst out laughing at the imagery – the market,the bank customer with one fish each etc
are the last 2 lines (polo & flight) – fact or nonsense?
nicely written Deb. by the time i felt “how come is baar isne thoda zyada likha” i had come to the end of the post which means it was just the right length
u made Silchar famous the day u started this blog & this post adds to it some more
these are facts and there are more, unfortunately this place is the most neglected place in India so ppl dont know anything bout it. but we have no issues as ppl dont have any financial problem here, education is good, and most importantly there is no crime. girls can go out any time in the night alone. its a happy happy place
thank u so much for this super duper comment
i love it when i get nice comments like this.
If I ever visit your town..will you host me?
..I don’t mind eating the one rupee chocolates 
anytime. but u ll get bored and runaway with some one rupee chocolates
-nice blog, with great info.., keep rocking …
i m running short of comments so retrieved ur comment from the spam folder. i m rocking
happy to provide u the info which u were looking for
hahahahhaaa..ur mad!..:D
Logged into indiblogger after almost 2 weeks!!
I like small town life!! I have lived in the Maximum city for a long time and it’s so not good.. Land up in a city like that and you will miss your good old laid back life!
Great Post!! The last 2 lines or rather facts r interesting.. didn’t know about them.. so u r spreading some knowledge too..
last 2 lines i added as an afterthought in case ppl of my town read this i can tell them see i wrote good things as well.
if ppl from small town land up in a city they dont miss their town, they get confused. for the rest of their lives they cannot decide which one is good, big city life or a small town life
edit edit. forgot to say thanx, apologies
cannot afford to make such mistakes when i m losing all my visitors.
loved this post!! It paints quite a picture….in a ‘malgudi’ kind of way! I have only lived in big cities, so I find the charm of small towns very appealing….except for the thought of visiting the doctors ofcourse! I was in Cal this past summer and I just loved the people and the awesome food there….I know what you mean about the challenged hindi, though…a few more days there and I’d have forgotten my own hindi!!
isn’t our Hindi great
well it’s different from cal in many ways. ours is a very very small town. i can write about the origin and history of this town but it ll be very boring.
thanx for ur wonderful comment as always, but where is ur new post? ur indirank has dropped
sounds incredibly quaint…another world! so far away from mine.
yes its an entirely different world
thank u so much for stopping by
I actually googled airports in West Bengal to take wild guess about your quaint township! Most of them are either non-operational or date back to WWII! Shame on me for expecting otherwise.
And I dread it when my in laws try to converse in Hindi -Paneer become Poneer…Loshee, Carol Bagh! Sigh!
Engrossing read as usual
my town is in Assam
and yes the airport was established during world war and i guess nothing has changed since then 
oh yes our hindi is an absolute treat for the ear.
thank u so much for ur comment
Typo -”take a wild guess”
i guessed it, i m a typo master
and thanx for this extra comment 
lage raho divine flame–now since u amuse me so well here is a true joke like incident for u—-
a babu moshye was travelling on d footboard of a DTU bus….d bus was wheezing past when he saw his stop go by…at once he shouted” hum yahan girega” meaning he had to get down over there….his fellow hangers on (look at their cooperation) pulled him up & said nahin tum nahin girega….d poor fellow became frantic & again shouted “girega” & d ans was “nahin girega” so it went on till he was far removed from his destination
therefore i advise learn Hindi while there is still time.
absolutely, we need to learn Hindi ASAP
thanx a lot for ur comment.
Oh but tell me at ;east that u laughed at my joke….dont i always laugh at yours?
obviously i laughed at ur joke. i am going to share it with my friends as well and take all the credit
I grew up in a big city but after reading ur post wish I had in a small simple quirky town
hahaha yes there is peace and its kinda fun living in a small town in a silly way, but u miss out on too many things. so if someone is practical, he or she wud opt for a big city life.
thank u so much for this wonderful comment
the plumber and the surgery part was way too funny…liked the entire post !
wish you should have continued writing
rahul
hey thanx rahul. dont ask me to write long posts. i have already got too many feedback on that. thanx a lot for visiting.
There are some posts that make you cry and some which can make you laugh. But very less are such posts which bring that small little smile on your face. This one is that!
hey thank u so much. glad u liked it
The world is a good place. your post reminds us that.
A lovely read as usual.
thank u so much Neeraj
yup, the world is a good place
Amazing writing style…its witty, its genuine and there is a flow which makes u enjoy reading!
My friend is a bengali and she speaks hindi quite fluently so i guess i wont agree to u on that
Apart from the language…reminded me of my own home town..though its in western U.P. yet I m amused and bemused in a similar way.
Will definitely be hopping onto ur blog more often
wow this is a super duper comment. thank u so much.
yes there are few bengalis who speak hindi quite well, but most of us struggle miserably and at times we dont even realize that we are actually using quite a few bengali words in between
found ur blog and i can see humor posts there
. it ll be great fun going through them. thanx again
Nice read Debajyoti.
I am married to a Bengali and am a Ghosh too
When I visit my in-laws’ place – I find it very different. Shops actually close for a long lunch
break like 1 to 4 pm because the shopkeepers go to sleep – really I found it unbelievable!
yes in calcutta ppl close their shops for a little siesta
but we r not too far behind. its different from how it is in delhi
thanks a lot for visiting my blog
Very nice post. How you guys start off with Hindi and gradually move to body language….humorous. Also the flight time of 60-90 minutes but drive to airport 2 hours….
thank u so much. glad u liked it. yes we need to rely on body language till we learn Hindi
While you are worried at the extended lengths of your posts, I rue the fact that the silken touch is stifled a bit too soon. I, too, Sir, can recognize the characteristic strain when I see it. Please carry on.
thank u so much. but at times visitors dont like long posts. i m planning to write a short post this time
although i m sure i won’t make any sense. thanx again for ur comment
Silchar… was there in late summer of 2004…one of my unforgettable journeys… will elaborate in a post… it’s gonna be a long one…
oh so u r a victim
looking forward to ur post
Actually Silchar… I haven’t heard of this place till seeing your blog.. Wait no, my blog feed I guess… I used to imagine who is this guy visiting my blog that too from an unknown place and he has a website.. I will copy and paste the website and I will be dazzled to see your blog. Oh, such a big blogger is visiting my page! Okay, don’t laugh
Now, I live in Chennai. My nearest connection to a flight travel is seeing it take off from a distance of around 5 kms. And Bangalore, Trichy, Coimbatore, Trivandrum, Hyderabad etc are the nearest places which take an hour and a half at the maximum but travelling to airport takes 30 minutes if you are within 5 kms to the airport else above 1.5 hrs. Procedures another 1 hour. So they say that you reach by walking
I wish I could see the plumber
And every town has its own peculiar way of things…
And if I don’t thank you for reducing your post length, I am not your regular reader
Cheers 
Reply after you wake up 
it’s the same with all cities/towns. the amount of time we have to spend to reach airport is more than the actual travel time.
yes, i am a very big blogger
and yes, the length of my posts will be short from now on because most of my visitors are actually blind voters who stop for an additional 15 seconds to comment on my cartoon posts. they might just comment on one of my longer posts one day; fingers crossed.
many thanks for the comment
I read that a second time and enjoyed it just as much.
glad to see a second comment from you!! let me check if you had commented earlier or not.
Silchar? Is that in India? Wait, it must be! Silly me.
I think I can write a similar post about Delhi. Don’t be surprised. I really can.
I loved the airport bit.
surprisingly, it is!! it got stuck on the right hand side corner of India’s map.
well, even i can write a similar post about Delhi. thank you so much for the comment!!
Am so glad I logged in before the rest of the clan gets up —and was able to snatch some moments revisited your last blog —found your answer to my query clicked and was rewarded with this humurous piece —enjoyed reading as much as I always enjoy your interesting write ups
thanks
regards
rajni
hey, thank you so much Rajni for this wonderful comment! my posts are struggling a bit to find visitors
I never met a fellow Bangali who genuinely accepted “Aami Hindi jani na.”
And I remember our flight turned thrice in Dum Dum airport.. I always tried (in vain) to put a logic behind the U-turns.
And same goes with any other airport I remember..
Besides, Small Towns has their own perks…
oh, those are the most horrifying u-turns! yes, in a way, it’s fun living in a small town! many thanks for the comment!!