Last week after a session of general bitching (trust me guys, I can be a serious competition for all those who have mastered this art) one of my friends abruptly changed his target of assault and looked at me with venom filled eyes (just like how that dinosaur looked at those small kids in Jurassic Park) and quipped with profound sarcasm “so writer huh”, and that till date is the best compliment I have received from my friends. Normally when I ask their opinion as to whether I should continue my blog or not, there is an uncomfortable silence within the 5 meter radius, although I am quite certain that this silence is actually a tacit affirmation. But now there is one more problem, it’s hardly been a month and a half that I have started blogging and guess what? I already have a writer’s block (I think this term can be used for anyone including those who paint on the back of the trucks “horn ok please”, so I fulfill the eligibility criteria) although I am not quite sure what it signifies. For people like me, writer’s block can possibly be defined as a phenomenon where your sources stop publishing anything new, as I have already exhausted 95% of the thoughts that I had gleaned over the last 37 years, in just 5 posts.
What I like about blogging is that there is nothing right or wrong about it and there are no guidelines (as I would love to assume). It’s someone’s individual views, put across in his or her way, you either endorse it or you don’t. And hence even someone like me, with a prehistoric computer and a gruesome profile picture (off-putting right? but that’s intentional) can start a blog and promote it everywhere barring that public convenience. Out of all those promotional techniques (which include begging to strangers) that virtually cluttered my sidebar, few of them have been quite effective. I like indiblogger, blogjunta and kamat portal (primarily because all my bewildered visitors come from these three sites) particularly indiblogger because of their generous members who keep loitering around that indivine and accidentally land into my blog. (By the way if you have come through any other site then you may skip this paragraph as I am planning to continue this sycophantic discourse for some more time. And as long as I get visitors from those sites, I will somehow squeeze in these names in all my posts even if it’s about my 10th standard exam). The other reason why indiblogger and blogjunta generates traffic is because of their interactive platform (just picked this term from a gossip magazine to impress people. I hope it’s applicable here otherwise just read “cool platform”. The person who invented the word ‘cool’ was a visionary, and how can I not mention the person who reinvented the word ‘loser’ and gave it a new dimension. These two words basically classify everything that exists on earth into two broad categories. From Eiffel Tower to Osama Bin Laden, everything can be described with the help of these two words).
I am awed by some outstanding posts which I have read in last couple of months and it only justifies my self developed inferiority complex. I don’t read books, or may be one or two in the past when I was profusely drunk and didn’t know what I was doing (although I strongly believe some of those pioneering adult magazines should feature in the same category) so it’s been a pleasant change for me. I have also come across some interesting characters; there are those celebrity kind of bloggers who drop their posts on all 1000 blog directories like Russian bombers and fly off and their slogan “we write for self satisfaction doesn’t matter if anyone reads them or not” trails away. Now it’s your turn as an admirer/fan to read and post comments (if you are qualified enough, of course). If you are lucky, you might get a monosyllabic thanx, or else just be happy that you got a chance to read that masterpiece.
I don’t read a post just because I want that person to return the favor in 5 minutes (half an hour is fine). I read a post because I have absolutely nothing to do; the only other thing which I do is check my share prices intermittently (don’t frown; my total portfolio value will be less than your one week’s booze expense). But now even that’s not required, as I see the promoters of those companies moving from one jail to another the share prices reflect on their faces. I have this uncanny knack of picking scripts of those companies which will invariably come up with some disastrous quarterly results or have a few scams in the pipeline. By the way what was my topic for this post? Ok ok don’t go, we will talk about this blogging thing.
My target is 1000 before I flaunt that stat counter proudly (listen, it’s actually not easy to get 1000 insane people reading the same blog). But as I frantically refresh my stat counter and analyze those 3 visitors that I had last week (which is a staggering 50% jump from its previous best) this target looks a little unrealistic unless there is some celestial intervention. Every visitor makes you ecstatic just like how Ravindra Jadeja feels after his logic-defying selection to Indian team, and little perplexed just like how his dad reacts to this news. I am still recovering from the shock of getting few comments on my previous post.
I love criticism, not that I take it as a positive feedback or some shit, but yes if it’s an angry outburst, I derive some sadistic pleasure from that. I will tell you one story if you have time. What time? I know you have nothing to do, otherwise you wouldn’t have been reading my post. Anyway, I wrote a couple of guest posts for a site (which I deleted later) and one of those posts was about Indian politics. The rationale behind this preposterous choice of subject was (a) lack of topic (b) availability of information about politicians on Tihar jail website. That incidentally infuriated one of the ardent fans of some politician and he posted 3 comments within a span of 10 minutes. I cannot paste some excerpts from those comments here considering this can be viewed by people of all age group. First comment was little longer than my entire post followed by couple of addendums. That was a real morale booster for me because it confirmed that he read my entire post and surprisingly he understood it (which can be a herculean task considering my sentence formation coupled with unwarranted parentheses) although if he had a gun and my address he wouldn’t have been posting comments. I could understand his frustration; life is cruel.
Ok listen I don’t have anything else to write. I am kind of itching to write a poem though, but that will seal my fate here. So that’s it for now, bye.