I know no one will go for a treasure hunt in my archive to verify this fact but it is there. Oh yes, I do have a part 1 if you remember. Why break your head when I have pasted the link everywhere on this page (‘never miss an opportunity to promote your old posts’ – blogging guide? This link will refresh the memory of those who have been kind enough to visit my blog on a regular basis for reasons beyond my comprehension, and remind you how this painful and torturous ride commenced.
When refreshing stat counter yielded nothing other than carpal tunnel syndrome, when one visitor from Ghana and one from Venezuela sporadically stumbled upon my blog and declared observantly “hmmm, website,” when Kareena Kapoor wallpaper gave way to ‘OM’ with a tagline “bhagwan ke ghar der hai andher nehi,” I saw comment notifications (which initially I attributed to acute insomnia-induced hallucination). An entire new feature on wordpress I was introduced to, the title did the trick. Next paragraph please.
Since then whenever I think of a subject for my new post and all I can see is stars, I write a post on blogging. All the first time visitors (if any) are requested not to bookmark this page yet, allow me to clarify first. These posts primarily encompass some preposterous statements coupled with irrelevant images and arbitrary use of the word blogging. Many visited my blog looking at the title and they all left with only one thought, ‘Shouldn’t there be a ban imposed on certain kinds of bloggers?’ Yes, one day bloggers like me will be banned but till then I will continue to derive some sadistic pleasure by tormenting you with posts which will leave you in utter disgust (I am going to repost my poems next. You thought getting readers would be easy, eh?).
Anyway, my previous post took a pounding and it was time for some introspection. That post was ridiculously long, not well-written, and riddled with proofreading errors. In other words, it covered all the bases of writing which recycle bin eagerly waits for (not saying this one has all the making of a classic). I have visited hundreds of blogs and realized that, on an average, the word counts of my posts are 3 times more than any post on other blogs. No wonder I get comments like – “Brilliant post, loved that first paragraph!” Moreover, the quality of my posts is only going downhill and part 2 indicates that I am not only running out of ideas but I am running out of titles as well. But thanks to all my visitors from Ghana, Ukraine, Venezuela, Uganda and few other countries where I am sure my blog is used by ophthalmologists to check their patients’ eyesight, I have crossed that elusive 10,000 mark (yeah, on your right hand side please). You will have blisters on your fingers, your hair will spike up, your eyes will turn square, but you will not be able to locate some of those countries on world map.
By the way, I am sure you have realized that while pretending to be humble I am discreetly telling you exactly what I want you to know. Well, I have done that in the past and will continue to do that. Also you should have guessed it by now that I am just doing some timepass. But usually on Monday or Tuesday I publish a post irrespective of whether I have anything to write about or not. Now the obvious question that should pop up in your mind is – “Did someone put a gun on your head and said you need to have a blog?” Well, when I am yet to establish the reason why I have a blog, it would be little difficult for me to logically explain the rationale behind any activity related to that.
Creative expression ? Ok ok, stop laughing. The only creativity I can see here is using stolen images from other sites to mask my dismal writing.
Angry outburst? Against whom ? We often come across a statement – “This person is not afraid to voice his/her opinion.” How much courage is required to hide behind a user name and sling mud at people with only statements that are ludicrously far from truth?
Anyway, I guess I am done for today. I was planning to give a lecture before signing off but I have set a word count goal for myself. Doesn’t matter whether I am in the middle of a paragraph or a sentence, I am going to stop right there. So, yeah, that’s it.
Ok, no, listen, one more thing, forgot to tell you that this is an old post. Yeah, done now.