If you are visiting my blog for the first time, looking for some useful information on, may be, the best data card service provider or the latest mobile app then closing this page wouldn’t be a bad option for you. If you continue to read this post, you might feel a bit grouchy after 5 minutes and think that the entire world is conspiring against you. Please have a drink, go to the nearest market and buy whatever you feel like (it’s going to be outdated in a few months anyway). Go for the ones with complicated names, you will have some new friends and a cool image; no I cannot suggest you anything coz my Chinese mobile doesn’t need any app to run, it dials numbers automatically without my knowledge. For those who have visited my blog before, well I don’t have to tell you anything, you guys know what’s in store for you as you have already been subjected to enormous torture over the past couple of months and by now you know that this world is full of fraudsters and swindlers like me. So without further ado let’s reflect upon some of the egregious service providers who can rock your world to an extent that you might take out that old radio and play vividh bharti or open an account in Gramin Bank.
Let me start with that bank that once meticulously executed violation of data protection act with a well-coordinated move by sending my statement to someone else’s house. No I don’t have any issues with my account details being published even on all leading newspapers, but if the bank balance illustrates Aryabhatta’s invention then you would probably protect it with all your life. To add to that if, after 15 days, you see the silhouette of an object which gradually transforms into a girl standing at your door with the open envelope and a wry smile with her boyfriend at the backdrop then you might want to discuss that data protection act with the bank. I opted for e-mail statement.
This brings us to that e-mail statement thing, one mobile service provider that exemplifies epitome of excellence and earned numerous accolades for that since the day of its inception found my mail id quite interesting and started sending me someone else’s mobile bill. No I never in my entire life used that service (and never will) nor is my name remotely similar to that guy’s name. I sent them few notifications; however, in order to maintain their reputation, they persisted with this e-mail e-mail game. No I didn’t take advantage and analyzed his statement, I just went through his call record, call duration, average monthly bill and most dialed numbers; that’s it. So finally I decided to call up that guy (I already had his number). I wanted to start a revolution against these service providers and was expecting an indignant voice from other side screaming “can you forward me the mail with that executive’s name?” or “can you suggest me a lawyer?” However, a calm, cool ‘Alok Nath’ kind of voice over the phone nonchalantly asked me “so how much is the bill?”
Here I would like to introduce you to that laptop repair center I visited once to rectify the battery back up problem. That engineer (?) rolled up his shirt sleeves, took off his wrist watch, pulled a chair and opened internet explorer (without any cable, USB, or Wi-Fi). With a science fiction technology he tried to access internet and typed google.com. And then when it said – ‘page cannot be displayed’, he looked at my laptop (just like how Newton looked at that apple) and proclaimed “yup there is some problem, lemme check again” and hence F5. I still believe he had far superior technology as compared to his competitors as he was the only person who could figure out that the reason behind this battery failure was that wicked google.
Let’s take a break now before we move into the final segment. You know this post is primarily intended to get some votes and comments (I doubt) as I am kind of getting bored. Feeling cheated? Well now that we are almost done then let’s complete it. Worst case scenario you will have to take one crocin, that you would need anyway as your boss is planning to have a meeting with you (unless you are self employed and your total cash outflow is ten times more than your cash inflow). One more thing I have decided to submit two posts every week from now on …ummm… may be from next week. Oh yes, I do have a post ready (almost) about that 2011-2012 thing and will submit it before we enter 2013 considering we might not see 2013, so it’s on its way once I finalize my resolutions for 2012. I am looking for the kind of resolutions which would require minimal physical and mental effort, and of course should be cheap. I need loads of page views as this holiday thing completely screwed up my visitor count (I will never understand why people are so active with their blogs on weekdays, during office hours), however, somehow I have crawled past 3000 mark . And now that I have successfully managed to cheat you guys 3000 times, I am going to raise the bar and going to employ new methods to allure visitors . You must be wondering why so many smilies all of a sudden? Well that’s because I have learnt how to use smilies and I am planning to pepper you with thousands of smilies in every post …..Ok let’s get back to the story now:
Saving the best for the last. If I have to select the standout performer based on my experience, then all other service providers on earth will pave way for this one; BSNL, the terminator. I started my blog few months ago with a fitting tribute to their legendary service but I can go on and on and on. In spite of repetitive warnings I opted for their service just like how I watched 15 minutes of Don 2 (isn’t it enough); destiny. You just look at them with awe and admiration and wonder “is this practically possible?”
Maintaining a high level of consistency, there will be 2-3 hours of disconnection on any given day and on weekends with the employees even the connectivity takes a break (for 48 hours). In addition to that there could be some cable or server issues for 3 – 4 days anytime. Ok they come up with new and innovative reasons to justify those technical snags and you will be surprised to see how many aspects are involved in this complex phenomenon. This actually is a comprehensive guide for the customers to understand the entire process. Don’t call them, although they provide this service but they themselves don’t believe in this ‘Graham Bell’-invention, so you will have to walk up to the office. And then you will have the rare fortune to see all those Noble laureates together who will attack you with incessant questions to get to the crux of the problem (which will take you back to your school days). Now the problem can be the modem or the cable or the server or the cable on the highway, or rain. Oh yes if it rains then apart from internet you will have the following services disrupted here:
Electricity, phone, mobile, cable, DTH etc etc. So if you want entertainment, here is something that you can do:
Take a chair
Look up in the sky
Now can you see stars? Start counting.
That’s it. Yup smilies