Image source - http://www.businesscartoons.co.uk
If you are visiting my blog for the first time, looking for some useful information on, may be, the best data card service provider or the latest mobile app then closing this page wouldn’t be a bad option for you. If you continue to read this post, you might feel a bit grouchy after 5 minutes and think that the entire world is conspiring against you. Please have a drink, go to the nearest market and buy whatever you feel like (it’s going to be outdated in a few months anyway). Go for the ones with complicated names, you will have some new friends and a cool image; no I cannot suggest you anything coz my Chinese mobile doesn’t need any app to run, it dials numbers automatically without my knowledge. For those who have visited my blog before, well I don’t have to tell you anything, you guys know what’s in store for you as you have already been subjected to enormous torture over the past couple of months and by now you know that this world is full of fraudsters and swindlers like me. So without further ado let’s reflect upon some of the egregious service providers who can rock your world to an extent that you might take out that old radio and play vividh bharti or open an account in Gramin Bank.
Let me start with that bank that once meticulously executed violation of data protection act with a well-coordinated move by sending my statement to someone else’s house. No I don’t have any issues with my account details being published even on all leading newspapers, but if the bank balance illustrates Aryabhatta’s invention then you would probably protect it with all your life. To add to that if, after 15 days, you see the silhouette of an object which gradually transforms into a girl standing at your door with the open envelope and a wry smile with her boyfriend at the backdrop then you might want to discuss that data protection act with the bank. I opted for e-mail statement.
This brings us to that e-mail statement thing, one mobile service provider that exemplifies epitome of excellence and earned numerous accolades for that since the day of its inception found my mail id quite interesting and started sending me someone else’s mobile bill. No I never in my entire life used that service (and never will) nor is my name remotely similar to that guy’s name. I sent them few notifications; however, in order to maintain their reputation, they persisted with this e-mail e-mail game. No I didn’t take advantage and analyzed his statement, I just went through his call record, call duration, average monthly bill and most dialed numbers; that’s it. So finally I decided to call up that guy (I already had his number). I wanted to start a revolution against these service providers and was expecting an indignant voice from other side screaming “can you forward me the mail with that executive’s name?” or “can you suggest me a lawyer?” However, a calm, cool ‘Alok Nath’ kind of voice over the phone nonchalantly asked me “so how much is the bill?”
Here I would like to introduce you to that laptop repair center I visited once to rectify the battery back up problem. That engineer (?) rolled up his shirt sleeves, took off his wrist watch, pulled a chair and opened internet explorer (without any cable, USB, or Wi-Fi). With a science fiction technology he tried to access internet and typed google.com. And then when it said – ‘page cannot be displayed’, he looked at my laptop (just like how Newton looked at that apple) and proclaimed “yup there is some problem, lemme check again” and hence F5. I still believe he had far superior technology as compared to his competitors as he was the only person who could figure out that the reason behind this battery failure was that wicked google.
Let’s take a break now before we move into the final segment. You know this post is primarily intended to get some votes and comments (I doubt) as I am kind of getting bored. Feeling cheated? 
Well now that we are almost done then let’s complete it. Worst case scenario you will have to take one crocin, that you would need anyway as your boss is planning to have a meeting with you (unless you are self employed and your total cash outflow is ten times more than your cash inflow). One more thing I have decided to submit two posts every week from now on …ummm… may be from next week. Oh yes, I do have a post ready (almost) about that 2011-2012 thing and will submit it before we enter 2013 considering we might not see 2013, so it’s on its way once I finalize my resolutions for 2012. I am looking for the kind of resolutions which would require minimal physical and mental effort, and of course should be cheap. I need loads of page views as this holiday thing completely screwed up my visitor count (I will never understand why people are so active with their blogs on weekdays, during office hours), however, somehow I have crawled past 3000 mark 
. And now that I have successfully managed to cheat you guys 3000 times, I am going to raise the bar and going to employ new methods to allure visitors . You must be wondering why so many smilies all of a sudden? Well that’s because I have learnt how to use smilies and I am planning to pepper you with thousands of smilies in every post 
…..Ok let’s get back to the story now:
Saving the best for the last. If I have to select the standout performer based on my experience, then all other service providers on earth will pave way for this one; BSNL, the terminator. I started my blog few months ago with a fitting tribute to their legendary service but I can go on and on and on. In spite of repetitive warnings I opted for their service just like how I watched 15 minutes of Don 2 (isn’t it enough); destiny. You just look at them with awe and admiration and wonder “is this practically possible?”
Maintaining a high level of consistency, there will be 2-3 hours of disconnection on any given day and on weekends with the employees even the connectivity takes a break (for 48 hours). In addition to that there could be some cable or server issues for 3 – 4 days anytime. Ok they come up with new and innovative reasons to justify those technical snags and you will be surprised to see how many aspects are involved in this complex phenomenon. This actually is a comprehensive guide for the customers to understand the entire process. Don’t call them, although they provide this service but they themselves don’t believe in this ‘Graham Bell’-invention, so you will have to walk up to the office. And then you will have the rare fortune to see all those Noble laureates together who will attack you with incessant questions to get to the crux of the problem (which will take you back to your school days). Now the problem can be the modem or the cable or the server or the cable on the highway, or rain. Oh yes if it rains then apart from internet you will have the following services disrupted here:
Electricity, phone, mobile, cable, DTH etc etc. So if you want entertainment, here is something that you can do:
Take a chair
Sit outside
Look up in the sky
Now can you see stars? Start counting.
That’s it. Yup smilies
About Debajyoti
If there exists a Que for posts from your blog
MOre number of posts will be on COMPLAINT LINE, similar to that image
RELIANCE DATACARD HOME PAGE is ” This page cannot be displayed, CHeck your internet connection”
http://deepakkarthikspeaks.blogspot.com/
thanx for ur comment deepak
I agree with the BSNL part, having dealt with it on my recent trip to India. as for other SP’s, I am partly to blame, I am the one that helps them hire their engineers
Am I on your hate list now?
oh don’t worry there is not a single person who i praised in my life
and as far as the engineers are concerned, well they learn with time (just trying to be nice 
). btw thanx for ur comment, was getting a bit scared today. at least now i have couple of comments and perhaps thats bout it for this post.
Hey… Your post cheered me up… For a while, at least!
Your problems put mine in clear perspective
And… Happy New Year… Apparently, a lot seem to think that it would be the last.
I am all for a spectacular end!
hey thanx for ur comment and thanx to all the nocturnal people like u that i can see a few page views at this time
. and yup going for a spectacular end is always a smart decision 
. oh yes happy new year, have a wonderful 2012.
oh a new photuuu?? wow!
ok about the post: hilarious of course. the best was the laptop repair guy
the F5 is every IT guy’s lifeline
a new photuu just to clear the confusion about my gender
. yup apart from f5 every time there is a problem with the system those it guys will delete some files and ask u “now check” 
and if F5 isn’t enough, then ‘please restart your comp’ is the fav among most IT depts
This post has brought back that faded revolutionary in me! The fighter that I am, all my service providers should hunt you down for the trouble they are about to face.
Enough is Enough!!
God Bless them!!
yes go for it. even i love to fight with these guys, life ll be so boring without them
Ah!! I was wondering where did the funny Deb go? Until I reached the laptop repair guy part… and I thought yes, he’s back
Damn these service providers, all of them. I got my BSNL broadband connection in Jul 2010. When I got the first bill, the name on the bill was Abhay Kumar G, instead of my name. I called them innumerable number of times, with written complaint twice and still after more than one and a half years the name on the bill is Abhay Kumar G
I have given up. But the good part is I have hardly had any problem with my internet connection. *Touch Wood*
The worst part is those morons have sold my name and number to these damn insurance companies and other companies and these morons call me up and ask for Abhay Kumar G, I’ll reply “Wrong Number” and disconnect the call!
the start was a bit scary but by the time i got to the end i cherished every bit of it especially :
Take a chair
Sit outside
Look up in the sky
Now can you see stars? Start counting.
That’s it. Yup smilies
rahul
thanx a lot rahul although this post is very ordinary rather i would say below par but glad u liked it
. thanx again
You should’ve just paid the other guy’s phone bill man, y do u cry so much?
if i had paid that other guy’s bill then i wud have cried even more and my post wud have been even longer
I think I must be the exception to the rule. Having heard ‘orrible reviews about BSNL and hence, I decided to go with Airtel. After a few months of tussle I divorced Airtel and got myself hitched with Reliance. But I soon found out Reliance is never to be relied and is too fond of cheating its customers. So, I decided to try BSNL and let me say that for the past two years, I never had any trouble and hope it continues to be so.*touch wood*
no u r not an exception, BSNL service is indeed good in big cities. but for people like us who live in a very small town we have to deal with poor services, be it bsnl or any other SP. but i thought airtel broadband service is good and if there is a technical snag they promptly respond to that, although we don’t have airtel broadband here, so i have no other option but to rely on BSNL. and as long as i can check my mails, reply back to ur comments and write a post on them, i m happy
You are an absolute delight to read. Loved the easy pace of your post
hey thank u so much. i have been refreshing my stat counter for last few hours and wondering why no one is reading my post and thought may be its because of my substandard writing. but ur comment reassured me, i can peacefully write my next post now
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Getting grouchy about the grouchiness that pervades our life? You have struck upon a foolproof plan of releasing all that smoke. In case you feel concerned, it has mixed well with mine.
thanx a ton. every time i see ur comment here i wonder how come someone like u read my stupid posts and then leave a few encouraging words here. feels great
Wow….these are the things that make me feel good abt being in the US. The customer service is great for the most part. I have even scored some nice freebies from SPs a couple times that I was inconvenienced.
Good post! Funny as usual…
P.S. You need to stop with all the negative comments abt your posts and writings!
yes customer service can be a pain here although we don’t have issues with customer service in small towns coz there is no customer service
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if i stop with the negative things about my posts then i won’t have anything to write bout
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and now that u have reappeared from nowhere, u have a huge backlog so u need to read some of my posts which u haven’t.
Well the strategy behind the business of this kind of services always intrigues me.More so,its simply costs more to view your own choice channels than the ones which are normally distributes.And people say COnsumer is the king.What an Irony …
well said Amit. consumer is anything but king. u only go through various phases of harassment. thank u so much for ur comment.
Yeah! I can connect with that. Sify, AirTel are included in my experience.
oh the list goes on
. thanx for visiting.
Great blog article.Thanks Again. Much obliged.
thank u. new reader????????!!!!!!!!!!