Men and hair have always shared a love-hate relationship. Our frequent visits to barber shops during first half of our life suggest that we are more in love with our barber than our hair … until one day when our hair decides to leave us alone. Our whole world comes crashing down. Perspiring profusely, we wake up in the middle of the night from a recurring nightmare, as our blood-curdling shriek reverberates across the neighborhood, “I AM NOT YOUR UNCLE!!!”
Nearly half a century ago, my hair commenced a standard evolution process without much ambiguity as it grew 2 cm from the scalp … but then it took a vicious U-turn. While scrutinizing its inspired trajectory, my folks realized that my hair would be a spectacle, an object of amusement for the entire world for the rest of my life; and they euphemistically pronounced, “He’s got nice curly hair!!”
When you enter a shop and the guy standing in front of you turns back and drops his pepsi can, a kid from the far corner screams “momma!!” and few brave hearts try to capture your photograph from a safe distance, then you might not find yourself in the right frame of mind to associate the term ‘nice’ with these gestures. These can only remind you of a scene beautifully portrayed in the motion picture ‘Jurassic Park’ where the dinosaur entered the city and created panic in the civilized world.
It was evident from the demonstrations of the dinosaur that he did not relish all the attention he got; nor did I (those who have been reading my blog should know by now that I do think like a dinosaur and have an identical philosophy of life). While he went on to address the issue in an aggressive fashion, I opted for a more subdued approach … I decided to straighten my hair (which eventually made it even more conspicuous). When I discussed my mission with my friends, they uttered a popular Hindi aphorism which articulates the characteristics of a dog and its tail. However, I did not want to go down without a fight, I prepared myself to defy nature; and hence a hunt began for that elusive product which would transform my hair into straight, silky, smooth strands that I always longed for (an overwhelming influence of silver screen also played a pivotal role here) and in turn would transform my persona non grata status as well.
Nowadays, there is a plethora of hair care centers that have already established the fact that the sole purpose of your existence is to fulfill the needs of your hair. However, back in those days we didn’t have too many options, especially in small towns like mine. ‘Deluxe Hair Cutting Saloon’ stood tall as the lone warrior amidst all tresses and locks in my neighborhood. Days gone by and we entered the new millennium with new hopes, new dreams and … yup, that’s it. There was a buzz in the air about a ground breaking invention. Contrary to prevailing notion, this product could work wonders, even on the most rebellious type of hair. A handful of establishments in select cities were the proud possessors of this magical merchandise, and hence, I traveled all the way to Bangalore to lay my hands on that piece of gem (got a couple of tubes for a friend of mine as well. Nearly 50% of his hair withstood the litmus test; our fragile bond did not). The results were phenomenal and quite visible; and so were the aftereffects.
Many were seen on the roads with this distinctive hair texture. The consumers of this brand could easily be spotted in the crowd when they walked on the road amidst sympathetic gazes. Those who wore caps or tried to hide the surface area of their heads (with anything other than hair) raised a lot of suspicion amongst the populace. People were broadly classified under two categories – those who used this product and those who didn’t. Homo sapiens never appeared in this form before.
to be continued…………………
in case you are drunk and want to read part 1, then here is the link.
About Debajyoti
Bizarre it may seem, but I seem to have gone through some of those ordeals! While the multitude of imbeciles registering as my nephews and nieces keeps growing by the minute -and I can swear some of them are fit enough to be my uncles and aunties – my hair has started bidding me goodbye. My favourite hairstyles have gone for a toss. But let me focus on your post….
Written in your trademark humour, the hair of your story kept me smiling till the very break where you promise yet another installment. It also brings to fore the issue of obnoxious products that promise the moon to desperate characters like us.
thanks a lot Uma!! even my hair is bidding me goodbye. the only hairstyle i can think of now is the one which doesn’t require any hair.
this probably is the worst post i have written as of now and that’s because i have lost interest. anyway, i have another couple of posts which i would want to publish.
i was aware of the fact that i am losing visitors but what i didn’t realize was that i have lost almost all my visitors. may be when i write a post next time, i can just mail it across to you
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part 3 is ready and will post it soon.
& I thought, your posts bring a smile to my face ! I enjoy every word you write ! Please, think of your readers like me before stopping to write a blog !
loved that cartoon too
thank you so much Vimla for the kind words!! i always write to entertain my readers and it brings a smile to my face too when i get comments like this. and thanks a lot for liking the cartoon
. as far as abandoning my blog is concerned, i will write a post on that as well 
& you’ll surely get my vote for that
many thanks for that
Oh so you came all the way to Bangalore for a hair product! Hair styles and textures are a bigger distress for women. Frankly hard water and pollution are really taking a toll on our hair apart from the stress. And, all hair care products are basically similar. But, my experience has shown me that some suit our hair and others don’t. It is best to stick with products that suit your hair. I hardly experiment with my hair care products, even my hair oil continues to be parachute
. Looking forward to your next installment.
we don’t get everything here in my town. i do experiment a lot or rather i used to experiment a lot. parachute is very good and one of those hair care centers actually advised me to apply a bit of parachute before going out.
thanks for the comment. will post the next part soon.
wish i had hair he he he heeh
Bikram’s
will come to that no hair story in the next part
thanks for reading Bikram
Debajyothi! Right from the cartoon on I have been laughing out aloud in the middle of the night. I only hope that they will allow me to read blogs in the mental asylum that my neighbours are likely to commit me to
:)
I, who had straight hair, always used to envy the curly-haired ones and you apparently wanted to straighten your hair
So true that the grass always looks greener (or the hair always looks better) on the other side.
Now, of course, I am almost all face (if you take the pessimist’s view of more face to wash rather than the optimist’s view of less hair to comb) but in the days when I still had hair to save I too had tried every goo under the sun with disastrous results
Waiting for the rest eagerly.
thank you so much Suresh!! i await your comment after writing a post
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mental asylum is not a bad option. you don’t have to work there either.
grass is always greener on the other side and i realize that every time I get a haircut because after that i always want my previous hairstyle back.
i am yet to describe the disastrous results with supporting images
.
thanks again for the comment and i just saw your new post which i am going to read later tonight after i have some tea
As usual you excel in your hair story also! As my son is also in the same boat, I showed your write-up to him. He just loved it and all the way laughing!
thank you so much!! and i am grateful to you for sharing this post with your son
Oh god!the story of my life…….told by you….its so nice to have somebody in the same boat….I’m talking about the crazy curly hair and the constant efforts to straighten it out…I hope I don’t loose these curly locks though(being a woman…………..you can still get away with it!)……….really well written…as usual.
thanks a lot Simran!! well, i am losing them on a regular basis. the only option left for me is an Anupam Kher haircut now. but that’s ok, we cannot control things after a certain age. my hair had a gala time on my head
Nicely written. I too have a similar story. I have used every brand of hair care and the frequent travels have taken its toll.
thank you so much! well, we all have similar stories
Okay, I don’t know what to say about this coz thankfully, I’m not facing any sort of hair problems[read: as of now!] But I’m glad to have come across your post on Indiblogger. Such humorous touch to the whole conundrum.
Well written and I AM waiting for the next part. Keep writing!
thank you so much for the comment! even i didn’t have any hair problem when i was young. will write next part soon.
Gosh you have curly hair and don’t like it.. I have wierd wavy ones and the lady at the parlour says I should perm them to a curl.. sigh! I’d die for curly hair. Lend me some.
as someone said, “Grass is always greener on the other side.” I like curly hair but it’s difficult to manage especially for a formal occasion (for guys).
u changed ur DP and left me guessing as to who i have added in y network! Or was i too drunk last night while responding to add requests ….
u seem to have vanished almost since a week now and now when i read this…i have no complaints ! Well, curly long hairs were my fascination since childhood ! Now that i saw ur cartoon … i recalled how one of my teachers had mocked at a curly haired classmate by asking : ” hei u Combodian Jungle,stand up and answer the question ” and forget the class… i cud never stop my laughter , anytime i would see him, since then ! Nice Post as usual … a perfect read !
i usually publish one post per week coz i am too lazy and I need a lot of time to write a humor post. thanks you so much for reading
Your analogies were too good – Jurassic park, dog’s tail et al. Once again a wonderfully hilarious post. waiting for the next episode.
thank you so much! will publish the last part next week. and then even i am going to do an award and tag post
hahaha…hey, the cartoon is super…your post also kept me smiling throughout…:D
thank you so much
. yeah, this time i made the cartoon.
Your skill of writing and drawing go hand in hand for the readers pleasure:)
thanks a lot Rahul!! glad you enjoyed the post
Ha ha ha
Excellent as always 
thank you so much Amit
ha ha! nice read! didn’t know guys could be so crazy about getting their hair straightened/curled etc.
we are, mainly because we don’t have nice hair like girls. many thanks for the comment!
Oh, don’t talk about girls and hair
twenty different hairstyles every year 
yes i know that and when we try to emulate them, we make a hash of it. anyway, as i am almost 40 now, i don’t have too many options left other than shaving my head.
which is always a good option with men
absolutely
Love that image on top. Really good one.
. It was so funny, I was trying not to laugh because she was so embarrassed. 
.
It also reminded me of a person I knew who had hair just like that. She decided to let it grow long so during the growth process she had to pin all the hair down so as to make it look presentable. (like she needed 8 – 12 for the purpose) One day I was with her while she was trying to get all the pins out so that she could comb her hair and guess what –she couldn’t find a couple of the pins she’s put up. She swore she’d counted the pins as she pinned up all that hair.
Gosh, you’re right, everybody’s got hair stories. I’ve got mine too, but it’s not just as interesting.
I’m wondering what that product was that made you travel all that distance. That third para was so damn funny. I was imagining that scene.
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Now I wanna hear the rest of tale. Bring it out soooon.
that story of your friend is indeed funny. trust me, even i have similar stories where few insects lost their way inside my hair.
i do love that product. although it screwed my hair but i have a lot of fond memories associated with it.
yeah, will post that final part soon.
A lot of my friends have gone through this and hidden the remains behind a cap. I wish I could donate a few of my excesive hair to you.
You have inspired me to write a post of my own.
hahaha, i know. a cap is mightier than the sword!!
thank you so much for the comment and please write that post ASAP!!
Hi Deb
You changed your profile pic to show proof that your hair is curly eh?
The cartoon is too good…I remember one cartoon I saw as a kid (in paper) that a guy goes to one of the hair care centers that have already established the fact that the sole purpose of your existence is to fulfill the needs of your hair. And they give him some oil…On applying it to his head, hair starts growing in his palms ha ha
yes, and i am going to change my profile picture again for the third part
. thank you so much for liking the cartoon. yeah, may be even i saw that cartoon on some newspaper.
Ha ha ha.Hair today and gone tomorrow? I could sympathise with you for travelling all the way to Bangalore to get a certain hair care product. Dying to hear its name — must be deadly to classify entire mankind into two categories.
hair today, gone tomorrow is a universal truth
. we had a lot of fun experimenting with that product. will check the exact spelling of that and let you know 
Debjyoti, your new avatar looks like a piece of art by Da Vinci himself.
The piece is hillarious!!! I am quite in the same boat, and have gone through a lot of that ordeal. For us females, it does not stop at the ‘barber salon’ and we never have the option of going ‘safachat’ as they say it. Worse than the curls are the frizz. And of course, the famous grey, fast pushing us into the nightmarish ‘Aunty’ circle. “Mujhe Aunty Mat Kaho Na’ is not a laughing matter any more ;p
one of my friends told me that an old profile picture of mine looks like a painting by a renaissance artist. so i should be a painter’s delight!!
well, i have upgraded myself to that uncle category long back. i am not sure whether i will be able to complete that third part of not, otherwise i would have explained what i have gone through.
thank you so much for the comment and yes, totally agree with you – being called an aunty or an uncle is not a laughing matter anymore.
Wow !! What weighty Wisdom and Wit from a Wise Wit !! As some one said, “If there is Heaven on Earth it is Hair, Hair, Hair”!!!
thank you so much for the lovely comment and apologies for the delayed reply, was facing some technical problems.
Ha ha ha … Enjoyed reading this
Even my hairs also have a story. As I am a girl that too in early 20s, I should worry a lot about them. But I feel very lazy to visit a beauty parlour to get rid of those split ends even after 6 months or buy a new hair product to make them silky n smoother.
But after reading your hair story ‘a Guy’s hair story’, I am feeling very ashamed of my carelessness and how unlucky my hairs are. And I should start caring for them asap ..
thank you so much. am glad you enjoyed this
Debajyothi! Waiiiiitttttttiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnngggggggg
hahaha, yeah will post the final part today. actually i was not checking any blog of late including mine. so forgot that i have a blog
Deb.. this post reminded me of myself. I have flirted with long hair too. But the romance was very much one sided and I have gone back to the military hair style of my school days (which was the only one I had heard of at that time).
Anyways.. I am digressing. A great continuation to your hair story Part 1. A stimulating cocktail of humor and sarcasm, you had me laughing and reminiscing at the same time. The story of my hair treads along the same path as yours. The use of that elusive product and its aftereffects (afterdefects) makes one laugh but think at the same time as to how we all get exploited by these hair care experts. Very adeptly written and I look forward to next episode of this saga.
hahaha, why don’t you write a post on that? it would be fun!!!
well, i spent half my life looking at the mirror and contemplating a new hairstyle
, (which always went wrong).
Thanks again for the lovely comment, Raj!!
hope the barbers and the oldies do not feel offended reading this post …lol
who will admit in virtual world that they are oldies
. do i?
“People were broadly classified under two categories – those who used this product and those who didn’t”…..:D..you literally busted the hair care product companies..was missing your posts..subscribed to email updates today..hope will not miss any more..
Thank you so much Ranita for the comment and for subscribing to new posts