With SEO guidelines weighing heavily on my mind, I tried to venture into an unfamiliar territory called subject-oriented writing, only to realize that my subjects were left in the wilderness and the posts defined their own paths; and eventually, the topics had no relevance to the contents of those posts. In addition to that, my endeavor was marred with poor keyword selection and lack of substance. Hence, with a heavy heart and bleary eyes, I head back to my genre i.e. meaningless posts with incoherent thoughts (it would be a daunting task to differentiate between my subject-specific posts and my meaningless posts).
I am going to contradict my statements a few times in this post and will try to justify all my unscrupulous acts, albeit I am getting this strange feeling that my comment section is going to look like this from now on:
If you believe in love and peace, then you may choose to avoid this post; however, in that case your abstinence will be attributed to your affiliation to any of the categories mentioned below. Please note, I have ensured that my current, former, or future visitors are not discussed here; so, get a cup of coffee and wear that devilish smile as we set out in pursuit of some sadistic pleasure. Call me hypocrite, call me odious but don’t forget to vote for me while leaving.
1. Self-proclaimed intellectuals: They graced this earth with a mission to transform our lives; however, the chances of them blessing your blog with a visit are pretty slim unless you are any one of the following:
- A bespectacled guy.
- Someone analyzing the sky in his/her profile picture. (I tried that but it looked more like a spondylitis attack than a gaze into oblivion, hence it couldn’t produce the same magic.)
- A perpetually grief-stricken social reformer.
- A historian.
As a matter of fact, you might not be fortunate enough to get your comments acknowledged by them as your comments are a disgrace to the literary world. Of course, if you are a girl/lady then it’s a different story altogether. I am sure, my cheap and gross profile picture is giving you a rough idea of how my blog would have been rated by them. On rare occasions, when those reverent bloggers visited my blog, their preconceived notion governed their action and they left without reading a single line. They use their words frugally on comments and comment replies and never use smileys.
2. Aspiring intellectuals: Cynics call them sycophants and cronies call them loyal. A subcategory of the above and they exhibit similar traits blended with a tinge of desperation. They join a blogger network and quickly shortlist intellectuals and elite bloggers, and the process begins. Throughout their lives, they follow them everywhere; twitter, facebook, google plus and other platforms where opinions are exchanged and/or hurled at unsuspecting victims. They emulate them to the tee and eagerly await new posts from their deities for continuing enlightenment. Their admiration on the comment form can be misconstrued as an essay on a freedom fighter. Even though they read only quality stuffs but some of them don’t deprive us completely. They add us on indiblogger providing a wonderful opportunity for us to read their masterpieces in future (only as a reader; preferably without posting any comment).
3. Smart visitors. It’s a vast category which encapsulates one and all from the blogsphere; you, me, that guy in orange shirt; everyone. I am not going to discuss about this category in details because self-criticism is not regarded as a wise thing to do. Like Undertaker, we disembark from Death Valley into blogsphere on a full moon day and suddenly become the most genuine reader the world has ever seen. We are in love with your blog again and our lives depend on it. As we go on a rampage, our new post discreetly announces its arrival on the recently submitted page of indivine.
4. Twitter followers: They have absolutely no business with your blog. They don’t comment, they don’t vote nor do they have any intention of a future visit; they just click on follow me on twitter button and leave forever. The person up in the sky wouldn’t be able to comprehend the rationale behind this act of generosity. By the way, I have one abandoned blogspot blog with no post, but it has 5 followers. Perhaps, those visionaries anticipated some impending revolutionary work there.
Anyway, guess I need to come up with another post to cover all the categories because most of us are not fond of reading long posts, that too if it’s a poor quality post like this one.
I will not make a fool of myself by saying that I don’t get perturbed by these individuals or their activities. If that was the case, I wouldn’t have been sitting and writing this Ram kahani. However, I don’t have any malice against anyone; I love every single blogger, especially the ones who garner high votes and comments. The following flowchart will illustrate the pitfalls of despising popular bloggers:
Hence, please don’t hate any blogger, love thy brethren. You vote – I vote, you comment – I comment; it’s a win-win situation. There is nothing called a bad blog. Every blog is unique in its own way, every blog has a story, every blog has a face behind it. It’s for us to decide which story we want to hear and where we feel that the user name and the face behind it are not two different personalities.
Ok, now that I have made a complete mess of this post, let me wind up. You can write anything on the comment form, there is always room for healthy discussion (I will edit those comments anyway). Take care, keep voting, and don’t lose your genuine readers. When you are overwhelmed by the accolades from all the smart visitors like us, don’t ignore that familiar handle, somewhere in between, trying to put a smile on your face.