Flying through the purple sun!

There was purpose in his stride as he walked into the crowd.  Draped in pristine white attire and sporting a radiant smile, he was exuding an air of divine calmness.  He stopped momentarily and glanced over the faces…and then his eyes darted towards me.  At this point, I noticed a halo around his head.

‘Who is he, and why is he searching for me?’ there were questions burning inside my mind as he walked over and stood towering over me.  With an unwavering smile, he held out his hand and a piece of paper appeared in it.

“God, is that you?” I muttered.
“Your bill, sir,” he implored.  A preposterous response from someone I revered all my life.

‘Yes, it’s unfortunate that people have turned into atheists, but is the situation so grim that God has to give up all hope and start serving liquor in a pub (to the same mortals who have dethroned him), following in the footsteps of that Hindi movie character who becomes an auto rickshaw driver after his business partner swindles him?  Not acceptable from someone who has been entrusted with so much responsibility.  He should be up there in the sky hurling that wandering planet from the trajectory of earth…or is it Superman’s job now?  Gosh, how much he shirks responsibilities!  Fine, at least, he can do something human resourcish, like providing employment opportunities to people, even though it looks like he is struggling a bit here with his own employment.’

I looked up.  His head was still surrounded by the halo, ‘Yes, cynics would dismiss this phenomenon stating that it’s the toilet light, from the far corner, reflecting on his head, but if we had looked at everything from cynics’ eyes then half the world would have committed suicide by now (they even call me dumb.  Would you believe that?).  Anyway, let’s get it from the God’s mouth.’ I resumed my direct conversation with God, “So, how come you are here…I mean, descended on earth?”

“Ummm, well, we are closing but I can take your last order if you want,” he replied hesitantly.  The toilet door slammed shut behind him and the halo disappeared from his head.

‘Nah, he cannot be God because God, as the name suggests, is someone whose primary objective is to play pranks with our lives.  So, if at all he serves me a drink, he would probably spike it with laxative. This benevolent person standing in front of me can only be a waiter.’

“Yeah, get me something nice…and cheap,” I looked into oblivion.  An elusive face off with God remained unaccomplished.
“Sure, Sir.  As of now, it’s 8 pints, 6 vodka with cranberry, 6 tequila shots, 5…” clearly, he identified a conflict between my ability and willingness to comply with their norms which included monetary transaction upon completion of the service.  And hence, he decided to drop a hint.
“That’s impressive, but I am not particularly interested in your sales figures; let’s just discuss my bill.” I interrupted him.
“That’s what you have ordered as of now, sir,” divine smile continued to permeate his face as he pronounced some devastating facts, “and the total is eleven thousand five hundred…”

DJ was playing the last track of the evening as people started to leave that place.  It all exploded into a chaos (DJ’s choice of music could have acted as a catalyst), and there was chaos inside my head as well.  I was finding it difficult to relate to my surroundings.  The rationale behind those outrageous charges would have been vehemently questioned only if I could muster up a valid form of verbal expression to complement my gaping mouth.

“I have made a separate bill for your friend,” he pointed his finger to an object sitting next to me.  He then lowered his voice, “Or, shall I combine all into a single bill?”
“Does he look like my friend?” I maintained the same voice level, ‘Damn, I could have bought a second hand scooter with this money.’

I watched as he proceeded to get my drink and then turned towards my friend, “Why don’t you settle my bill?  Remember, I gave you a treat in the evening?”
“An egg puff from the roadside bakery.  Was that a treat?” he retorted as he guzzled down something which I wished was laxative this time.
‘And they say people become generous after few drinks.’ I turned my gaze back to oblivion.

The waiter appeared again with his perpetual smile (which, by then, appeared to be a congenital anomaly), “Hope you had a great time,” which could have been loosely paraphrased as – ‘Enough for today.  Go elsewhere, if you are not done yet.’

‘How am I supposed to go home?  And how did I come here?’ – trivial questions but can be quite traumatic if mulled over at 3 O’clock in the night.

“Let’s go.  I need to watch the highlights of today’s match.  Will drop you on the way.” the object which the waiter referred to as my friend stated matter of factly as he started collecting his belongings from the bar counter (he looked more like a burglar grabbing unattended jewelry.  The only precious item in his possession, though, was a piece of tissue paper.).
‘Who the hell gave him driving license?’ I looked at him in great disbelief, ‘It seems like a miracle that this swinging and swaying object had actually driven a vehicle few hours ago.’

Of course, his intent was noble, but a right intent doesn’t always translate into a desired action, especially when both intent and action are influenced by copious amounts of beverages.

‘Two options,’ I donned my analyst’s hat again –
A) Leave the place with a potential killer.
B) Walk home, keeping a flexible approach towards preferred mode of death.
Hmmm… tough call.’

Owing to his persevering nature, he eventually managed to get up on his feet after couple of failed attempts.

“The floor moved a bit, is there an earthquake?” he looked around.
“Everything is steady except you.” I reassured him.

As we proceeded towards the exit door, he stumbled again, but with another acrobatic maneuver, he brought himself back to a vertical position; I walked towards the auto stand.
 

……………………to be continued.

About Debajyoti Ghosh

You can follow +Debajyoti on Google Plus and on Twitter @devjyotighosh.

Comments

  1. Great to see you blogging after a long time!!

    This does seem like a beginning to a great tale!! Well written!

    • i have been trying to write something for past few days but for various reasons, i wasn’t able to do that. will try to blog regularly after few months. thank you so much for reading! it feels great to know that i still have few blogger friends reading my blog :)

  2. What happens next??

  3. Even if you/the protagonist manages to survive the night, the hangover’s going to kill you. Been there, suffered through that… ouch.
    Hilarious, esp because a lot of us have been in this situation at least a few times, and most weren’t as nice as seeing ‘God’. Loved the ‘flexible approach to death’!

  4. Ha ha ! Hilarious ! I loved the piece about God… waiting to read the next part !

    • God knows when i will be able to write the next part. thanks a lot for reading! I was dying to write something and i know that i haven’t done a good job.

  5. Hehe.. great post. Waiting for the next part :)

  6. Wow. You are finally back? And fiction this time? Interesting!

    • Well, it’s a mix of fact and fiction. will go missing again :D. haven’t been able to read too many blogs as well. need to catch up on some reading. thanks a lot for the comment :)

  7. Very Nice read…waiting for the next part…

  8. you have amazed me yet again by your writing skills. You must go ahead and write for Hangover part-IV (hheh i know i know part III is the last, but nevertheless :P) Looking forward to the next part :)

  9. reminds me of the old Debojyoti .. i was introduced to when i had joined Indi !! You’re just best at it… wish I could express humour even half as good as you !
    Your writing compels to leave compliments and await for more ! Not that your doodle posts are any less but its like you are Sachin Tendulkar in expressing humour in words and one can never go away without praising you !!
    Your fan following speaks for itself .. dear friend,
    :) Mr Natural Humorist !! Inspiration for budding humorists and star for a struggling doodler. :)
    Awaiting the next post .. Sir !! :)

    • Goodness gracious me! that’s too much of praise for me to handle. but who doesn’t like such a lovely comment? Thank you so much for that :)

  10. A) Leave the place with a potential killer.
    B) Walk home, keeping a flexible approach towards preferred mode of death.
    Hmmm… tough call.

    Beyond awesome! :)

    • i have been trying to write something nice but was finding it difficult to come up with something remotely close to that. your comment reassured me. Thank you :)

  11. nice one , well written

  12. This is great! Please dont keep us waiting for long for the 2nd part, now..

  13. Ah finally a post after a long time , and still you keep us waiting for more..Seems like a great start .

  14. Jaishvats says:

    Hi debajyoti
    Good to see u back in action :) and the part about intent and object under the influence of alcoholic beverages had me grinning hi hi waiting for part 2

    • hahaha, thanks a lot Jayashree! no, i am not back in action. just had few half written posts in my D-drive. so, decided to complete one. Glad to see your comment here :)

  15. Oh how wonderful to read from you after a long time :)

    Gosh! I can’t wait for the next part… be quick be quick ! :D

    • Thank you so much Namrota! glad you enjoyed reading this! i wish i could complete the story :(. but will be reading blogs whenever i have the time to see what you guys are writing :)

  16. Wow! completely different kind of post. Enjoyed thoroughly :)

  17. This time….fiction! Good one! I have also attempted it for the first time for a contest, but it got err…. ;) :)

  18. Phunny and intriguing. I am waiting for the next part to explode on the blog :P

  19. Oppps….what happened to my reply?? :/

    I must have closed the window before it got posted….:(

    Anyway, I loved this one. Your version of God is…..errr…interesting :D Love your style, DJ!! Can’t wait for the next part.

    • no, there must be something wrong with my blog. it’s not been maintained properly of late, and i neither have the technical knowledge or time to rectify things (i hardly log in these days).

      thank you so much for reading and for posting your comment second time. i will write the next part but only next year :(

  20. Admiration…u r too gud with words too. Funny how u conjure all so well…first through graphics and now this.
    Enjoyed it and will want to go through all of the to be continued story. :)

    • Thank you so much Shivani! actually, my writing is mediocre and that’s why i have to spend a lot of time on each post before i publish them. thanks again for this encouraging comment :)

  21. Good to see a story from you after a long time. :)

  22. Debajyoti, After enjoying series of wonderful cartoon posts…I loved reading this fiction story, so well written. Return soon with next part, eagerly waiting to read.

    I am leaving one more comment in your healthcare post.

  23. I find some change, could not find comment posting for healthcare post…I will convey later.

    • thank you so much for these wonderful words as always! i look forward to your feedback every time i write something new.

      Guess, i have disabled comment on that healthcare post

  24. Second story I’m reading – the first was about that dog who sang, “Nirma…” Your imagination and the indirect digs at us feckless humans made me laugh. Wonder where this is going :)

    • hahaha, this is not going anywhere, KayEm. i thought, i will complete the story but guess, i need to take a break from blogging now. will write the next part in 2014 :D.

      thank you so much for reading this!

  25. Wow, I wish I could phrase a story with so much eloquence.
    Though the plot till now is quite simple, I am hooked already. :D

  26. Good narration ! you carried off well :)

  27. Awesome!! I rarely crave to read the next part like I am for this one…Humourous, touch of being there done that and love the “flexible approach towards death”.

    Keep up the good work.
    Cheers

  28. Well, I am an agnostic. Maybe I will just drink myself into stupor when I feel like meeting God ;) Anyway, quite hilarious :D

  29. Amit Pithadia says:

    Great post buddy…

  30. Hilarious read…. i loved the 2 options at the last… lol

    Waiting for the next part. :) Come on, start writing !

  31. You sneaky bum Debs :) You wait for me to get lost in the rains of Uttarakhand and come up with a long-awaited post. What do you have against my enjoying your humor? :)

  32. Somewhere in the process of blogging one gets tangled in conceit, the news, blog strategy … oh … today I threw everything out the window, fed up of being mediocre and found an EZQUISITE PIECE OF WRITING, SERIOUSLY MAN YOU ROCK… am reblogging this without your consent , shamelessly wishn I’d writ this – LOVE LOVE IT…

    • hahaha, thank you so much Rayla! i am honored!

      i thought this post is a below average one.

      and thanks a lot for reblogging. have gone through that link. will read again and comment :)

  33. Hi deb,
    I have been amazed by your fan following. So many people respnd to your style of writing. I think you can use your writing skill for a larger audience. I will give you a link to a blog site which pays well for short posts and people are making more than 25$ every week and growing faster.
    Here is the referral link:
    http://goo.gl/fRKsR Free to join but a fantastic opportunity to make decent money by writing online. you get to make a lot of connects, likes, comments and social site shares. you will enjoy,
    malathy

    • i just try to entertain people. though i don’t write for money, i wouldn’t mind few genuine readers visiting my blog from other sources.

      thank you so much for this lovely comment and for the link. will definitely try that :)

  34. Brilliant – I have only one word for your post. Oh! and I love it.

  35. God, I loved it so much! When is the next part coming up? :)

  36. Great post !!

  37. Ananya Desai says:

    This was simply splendid! I loved reading it! Very humorous and paints a vivid picture of the scenario! Hope to read part II soon :)

  38. Nima Das says:

    Enjoyed reading this, the waiter had a halo which way the light from the toilet door was funny!

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