Image source – http://www.funnypostcard.com
What is life? No, I am not trying to act smart albeit the pseudo-intellectual in me is striving to be a little more vocal today. It all started yesterday when I rummaged through a few million websites for the pirated version of Agneepath; but all they could offer was this:
Still trying to figure out the relevance of this image to what they claimed was a full version of Agneepath. Other links redirected to sites that cannot be described for universal readers (all bookmarked). Dejected over the acts of these treacherous sites, I decided to stand outside my house and search for the meaning of life.
My philosophical trance was interrupted by a stray dog sniffing my toes; however, his quest for precision led him to the lamppost. ‘Lucky you’ I ruminated ‘for the same task, I will have to go all the way back inside.’ Civilization has only created more problems than solutions.
“Chand mera dil”, a savage voice penetrated the silence of the air. Yes, that’s my next door neighbor pronouncing the synonyms of moon. Going by his choice of songs, it’s quite evident that he is completely oblivious of any invention post radio. However, the previous night with a sudden surge of patriotism he yelled “mera rang de basanti chola” - alcohol does bring the best out of you. He paused for a second to search for the most appropriate words to start a conversation, and then asserted observantly “man, your hair has turned gray, you look sad.” Well, what can you expect from a person who hasn’t uttered more than 100 character counts in last several years? But I need to be careful with my gray hair now, will check out some of those cheap hair dyes. A girl from my neighborhood greeted me on her way to college “hello uncle.” Yup hair dye it’s going to be.
Couple of years left before I turn forty. They say ‘life begins at 40’, hope they have some supporting evidence to justify this claim as I don’t see any logic behind this statement. Sounds more like a fallacy of some frustrated 40-year-old lunatic who did absolutely nothing throughout his life other than coming up with this outrageous statement, which he professed will be an axiom one day. Anyway I don’t have any other option but to count on this because even I am not doing anything significant other than getting closer to that landmark.
Now, I have a few things on my bucket list, out of which at least two need to be addressed before I turn forty; six pack abs and a tattoo on my back, upper back, yeah. First one looks highly unrealistic and should ideally prompt my gym instructor to search for that hair dye before I do, but will start working on it once I get a guide book for the followings:
1. Effective use of six pack abs.
2. How to display your six pack in a crowded market place.
Tattoo; long overdue. Of late, few tattoo studios sprouted up here in my town but I have seen some grimacing faces coming out of those studios. So, with due respect to their expertise, I do not want a déjà vu of the surgery which I had during childhood. I would rather traverse few thousand kilometers to get it done.
My neighbor changed his track with a little more input from his epiglottis this time – “khoya khoya chaaaand.” Subject remains the same; yup, that stupid moon. From an active sportsperson to an acclaimed alcoholic, the journey has been pretty eventful for him. But when he flips through his certificates, do they take him down the memory lane to those bright sunny days? I am sure they do. Good, bad or ugly, memories always come with a tinge of pain blended with them. Life is like that video game where every level is unique, mulling over the previous level will only jeopardize the current one. Like Super Mario we need to go zoom and collect all the stars and dodge those fireballs. It’s all about finishing the game on a high.
About Debajyoti
Why this melancholy, Deb? Do you not know that 40 is the new 30? Plus, the advantage of growing older – you can actually tell people to go to hell if you don’t care for them. I, for one, could never do it when i was younger. Always had to ensure that I was nice to people for fear that I would be friendless otherwise.
As regards the tattoo, you should get it done. It’s not painful, not as much as people would have you believe
I sign off in the hopes of a happier post.
I thought this is a happy post
i even submitted it under humor category on indivine 
and i always told ppl to go to hell even when i was younger
and u proved once again today that u dont sleep
I’m watching the Grammys and it’s only 9:45 PM here
oh 9:45 okie. hey thanx for the second comment, things r not looking too good here
Don’t worry, before you know it there will be 50 people writing and telling you how good you are
thank u so much
Just finished watching the Grammies, wrote a rambling post about technology and social revolution and of course, my take on the Grammy’s this year (on Subho’s jejune Diet), and began to browse my reader and saw your post. You had me wondering right from the title. Couple of thoughts. No matter how far you have come on the wrong road, turn back. The older one gets the better equipped he is to contribute to his environment. You have been doing just that through your writing. Keep at it. No dragons are worth chasing, they never were, and they never will be. Been there done that advice. And if you are still looking for a decent Agneepath, let me know. It is not a great watch, especially if you have seen the Amitabh version.
oh yes, i have watched that old agneepath and i know this new one cannot be half as good as the original.
there is nothing called a wrong road, its how u look at it (provided u dont hurt anyone). chasing the dragon….hmmmmm…. debatable
although may be i meant something else here 
thanx for this wonderful comment subho. u made my day
.
that guide book idea was super fantastic and the line “”"how to display your six pack in a crowded market place”"”" had me in splits
and your neighbors song list – haha – are u in good company or what!
one of ur shorter posts – the image is longer! but well enjoyed it just as much though at one point i did think you are ‘revealing’ your age – finally – for public consumption
i love to reveal my age. as Mark Twain said “if you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” (just googled
shhhhhh)
didn’t get a suitable image
thank u so much
oh btw, you should open the thread for a discussion on which might the best hair dye in the market specially suited for you
haan haan agaya connection
discussion thread, kaha par, indiblogger
i hardly open that discussion thread, it looks like a group of ppl having a casual discussion over a cup of tea 
come to uk .. and i will give you enough evidence of how life begins at 40 or invite me to your place
he he he he he …
and SIX pack oh my .. na its not the Quantity .. its the quality i beleive in .. so I have a massive ONE PACK
does the job…
oh yeah, absolutely, one pack does the job
sure we ll meet up one day and we ll discuss this at length. caution: i drink a lot
and have you heard of a punjabi and that too a jat sikh NOT DRINK A LOT..
so bring it on ..
khoob guzregi woh shaam jam hum honge tum hoge aur JAAM hoga ..
he he he he
and also some chicken and other fooooddssss tooo
absolutely. lets see who creates more scenes
Stray Dog: well, they are all born with the same thought process, ‘The world is my urinal’..
40!!!.. I am way too far behind..
Six Pack!! .. Like somebody here said, one is also good.. don’t go down that obsession road and in turn spare the gym instructor his bread and butter!!
Tattoo – Yes!! Now!!! I have 3.. They do hurt a little bit.. It’s an addiction…But yes, plz do travel a few kms for that!!
i know. stray dogs r cool. they know who deserves what
i m going to go for that 6 pack, at least for once. but for that i need to work out like a psychopath
u have 3 tattoos, wow, and i m scared to get one
i have been planning for last few decades. but yes i ll travel a few kms for that 
Must say that you have an interesting neighbour
Seems to provide you with a lot of entertainment.
oh yes, long forgotten songs r his forte
Funny post
rightly placed in humor category 
Thought this post would be a review of agneepath..
Join the elite 40 list bro, SRK and Priyanka ??? Life begins at 40
thank u so much deepak, glad u liked it
I got a bit confused at the Agneepath opening but ended up listening to a guitar whose strings tore off suddenly and again got fixed to play the perfect melody.This was a roller coaster post for me, lots of ups and downs in it.
:)
Deb, boss take a chill pill, time to strike that pack thing off of your bucket list, doesn’t matter whether you have a pack, sack or a bag, just be happy.Find the smaller good things around that make you happy always like the amazing melodies which you don’t need to download, thanks to your neighbor
oh my neighbor is a rockstar, he redefines melody
and yes need to focus on my bucket list now 
thanx for this lovely comment Arnab
Awesome post.
r u Super Mario!!!!!
i did some promotion for u 
Only, you cannot restart the videogame of life. You live only once!
yes. we live only once and we have absolute control over our life i.e. our present and future; but we cannot restart
thanx for ur comment uma
Very well written, especially, “Life is like a video game in stages”. Guess what? I am still at the ‘novice’ stage and I see a lot of pro’s around me. Let me add a song, my profile song; and no Chand in it: “Sab kuchh seekha hamne na seekhi hoshiyari. Sach hai duniyawaalon ke hum hain anaadi”. By the way I have a post with Hindi songs fascination for Chand.
oh i wud love to go through that post. and this Raj Kapoor/Mukesh song is applicable to many of us. thank u so much for ur comment.
Deb hilarious post as usual….don’t believe this nonsense about 40—actually life begins at 60 & u r still a toddler !
thanx Indu. this is great. which means i can continue to do nothing for another 20 yrs
thanx again. and ur posts r amazing
Oh yes continue to do what u r doing &we all shall b pleased…i m sure i speak for all.
absolutely Indu. even i ll be pleased if my posts can make ppl smile for 5 minutes
Another rib-tickling post.
I have an interesting suggestion. Get a six pack tattoo! Two in one! 
You have got one heck of a neighbor man. Sounds like an entertainment package (even without his radio).
Anyways.. a wonderful and light-hearted read. Made me smile, laugh and then think (in no particular order
)
u r not supposed to think when u read my posts
oh yes, that tattoo and six pack. doing a lot of research to come up with something cool
thank u so much for ur visit raj
All the best for the tattoo and the six packs. The blogosphere is a crowded market place too
If this makes you feel any better, I’ve got some grays too. They came a few months after my little one came. (Ahh!! Motherhood!) Surprisingly, I don’t mind it, I just tell myself, “maybe it’s finally time to think about colouring my hair.
Go try some fun colours/shades. This is your chance.
(Argh! How I hate seeing ‘colour’ underlined in red every time I key in that word. I can’t get myself to spell that word with ‘or’)
i spell it with both ‘or’ and ‘our’, at times in the same post or mail or anywhere else
my hair has been subjected to all kinds of torture
which includes coloring it blue, purple and any other color u can think of.
what do u think i ll not show off if i can manage to get a six pack? i ll take a big photograph of mine and put it everywhere
thanx for reading
LOL! I was just laughing all through.Especially the “Hello Uncle” part! Awesome post!
hey thanx Jen. i actually like it when ppl call me uncle
Hi, I see you have a nice blog.
It would be a good idea to submit it for “Blogomania : The Bloggers’ Paradise” where you can win cash prizes along with a chance to get published.
Enter the Bloggers’ Paradise at http://www.blogomania.cognizance.org.in
thank u. i have done that and got few votes as well
thanx again
Well Super Mario…I read your blog when it had just started, and I’m still reading it now. And look how popular you already are!!! I think you scored yourself more than a few pennies and mushrooms that give you superpowers
P.S. Spend well on the dye…this is hair we’re talking about!!!
u r giving an impression that my blog is 10 yrs old
not a big fan of mushrooms
thats for super mario
haven’t checked ur blog of late. ll go through ur blog archive. cheers
A thought provoking rib-tickler. Loved the first person narrative style.
The advantages of six packs….hmmm….maybe you could use them as an ice breaker. Imagine yourself at a bar, with an unnatural raven black mop on your head. You go to that hot lady sitting on the bar stool, flip out your goggles in a very 1970s style and say “Baby, I have a six pack down there”
I see I missed quite a few post. Me thinks I will sign up as a follower, just to make sure I don’t miss the updates again.
hahahaha of course i can do that but i ll have to make sure there is no one around other than the bartender to witness the repercussions.
thanx a lot
Ha ha.. Loved the article.. It does bring out a great sense of humour
thanx u so much Vinay. really glad that u liked it
loved reading this melancholy Deb !!!
it started from agneepath .. continued with the dog piss and then the chand saga mixed with your 6 pack abs idea and the tattoo stuff .. LOVED IT actually !!!
hey if you are looking for the original agneepath online .. i have it on my laptop .. if you need i can courier a copy to you .. just mail me your address details…
where are you based actually.. i know a couple of good ink shops if you are in chennai or pune .. !!!
regards
rahul
hey thank u so much Rahul, that’s really nice of you!!!! i guess some of those sites should have the original print so i ll just go through them once more. thanx again for this lovely comment. u r a good boy
p.s. – i forgot to add something to my comment on ur post. ur Agneepath review is the best movie review i have ever come across, cheers
Lucky you! Your neighbour provided enough matter for an entire post
Enjoyed reading your post and agree, living life Super Mario style is a good idea. Cheers!
thank u so much. glad u liked it
yup my neighbor is super cool
Do write more about your neighbour who seems to be infinitesimally more interesting than Hitrik Roachan (forgive my spellings) and his elk!
ps: In case I have already commented before, this one has precedence over the previous covenant.
absolutely, when i have nothing to write about, people like them save me by being a topic for my post
.
yes you already commented but thanks for the second comment
Dont ever go for six packs. See what it did to shah Rukh khan, his films are going downhill
I can understand your feeling for your neighbour. We have a neighbour who starts singing early morning 6.30, all old Hindi romantic, sad, melancholy songs. (practicing on karaoke ). He and his daughter sing old duets together daily!
well, it’s been one year since i have visited a gym, so six pack will remain in the bucket list forever.
yes, neighbors can be fun. thanks for the comment
Read that again. As entertaining as ever. Gosh! you move on from one thing to another with so much ease. Love the flow! And you can draw inspiration from just about anything, cant you?
Can I also tell you that you have the coolest readers ever, Mr. cool. 
. Hey and don’t forget to flaunt it, eh.
By the way what happened to the tattoo idea? Raj’s idea of two in one, is actually a great one
cannot take a chance with the ones which are there in my town. wanted to get it done from Delhi but i will be an idiot if i visit Delhi now in summer.
oh yes, my readers are indeed cool. thanks for the second comment
thanks for sharing this afresh. it was so nice reading it, that i had to leave a comment again too. watching you evolve as a writer/commentator and trying to learn how to write engaging posts from your work has been one of the most gratifying experiences ever. thanks for being you, deb.
ha ha ha, thanks you for commenting again. i am just too lazy to write a new post
.
well, i have gone through some of my old posts and realized that my writing needs to be refined. and as i don’t read books, i need to rely on blogs that i read to understand various aspects of writing. so, just trying to learn from you guys
. i need to improve a lot.
Man you are such a good writer–you had me in splits. Alcohol does bring interesting aspects in personalities don’t they? And the dog–I was almost wondering if he was going to pee on you, but thank god!!! The piece on how to reveal six-pack abs in marketplace–hahahaha. You know your writing sometimes has a certain combination of Kafka and Camus. In btw, did you get that hairdye?
i am a good writer, ye
. no, didn’t get that hair dye, my hair turned black again 
. i am going to hit the gym again, soon. six pack on the cards, yup 
.
thank you so much for the comment. now i need to check who are Kafka and Camus.
Hi
Super FUnny post as usual
…Grey Hair? I had my first one in class 6 when I was around 12 or 13….Show of intelligence ! What to do? 
ha ha….And Six Packs? Whoa!! If you model for Deospray ads you could get shown on TV, leave alone the market place 
And tattoo!! Ouch!! I somehow dont fancy them….:) Have seen some really wierd ones here in Spore!
when i see a comment starting with a ‘hi,’ i know it’s Jayashree
.
but i have gray hair because of my age.
those deospray ads are the worst thing shown on television
.
i have been planning to get a tattoo done for past few decades now, i am too lazy (and little scared); but soon.
thank you so much for the comment Jayashree and thanks for that ‘hi,’ it puts a smile on my face
Which one of this – facts or nonsense? It’s a fact if you want to state that you’re getting old and it’s nonsense to think that you’re old.
so, i have covered both facts and nonsense, eh? many thanks for the comment Sheldon
Yeah, I am going to be 38 in a few months. And frankly I’ve also wondered how life begins at forty! Definitely some frustrated soul tried to feel motivated by coining this. And don’t you know that a dog never pees on a human foot. They are too scared of the human kick
. Alcohol does make men quite hilarious. I have been witness to some pretty crazy talk as well. And Agneepath came on Zee Cinema on Sunday! I have no clue why they called it Agneepath because almost the entire story was redone. It wasn’t as bad as the slamming it got or maybe my expectations were way low. Katrina was fultoo paisa wasool!
what was Katrina Kaif doing in Agneepath? i thought it was Priyanka Chopra.
haven’t watched Agneepath 2 but even i have a feeling that it’s not that bad. at least can be watched once.
didn’t know about that dog phenomenon. thanks for sharing
yes, alcohol makes men hilarious and i am sure some of my friends, who observed me giving speeches on indo-pak bilateral ties after getting drunk, will agree with you on this.
i guess life remains same after 40
Chikni Chameli — kahan ho
. Priyanka had a decorative role. Nahin, life changes after 40! Work harder to maintain your figure. More chances of grown-up boys calling you aunty 
.
oh yes, that item song.
i know. even now i find it difficult to get up from bed in the morning.
yup, i am going to hit the gym again
You made this very interesting
Thank you. Glad you liked it
great post ! btw age is just a number !!! who cares ??!!! And as for tattoo …i would say go for it ! I got my tattoo just a year back and I am enjoying all the attention that i get
Many thanks for the comment
Revive instant. Kaato, kholo, gholo aur laga lo
that would help I guess
Again a humor filled post debjyoti. Liked it as usual.
ha ha ha, yeah. revive instant is not a bad option.
thank you so much for the comment
Interesting musings. It kind of carried me through. I effortlessly came along the path you were leading me. When I came to the end I realized I had been walking along with you without realizing the directions I am taking.
ha ha ha, even i didn’t know the direction i was taking while writing that post. i am glad that you found it interesting, thank you so much
Its really a good one.
thank you so much
good one !
& I am the living proof of that saying-life begins at 40
if you are saying then i will take your word for it. thanks for the comment
I had seriously considered doing a tattoo, but did not want to grow old with it
*not that I am a teenager* lolz
that’s what stops me. when i will be 60+, how would that tattoo look on me? ha ha ha.