Welcome welcome welcome!!! Before we proceed any further, allow me to clarify that this is just a regular new year resolution post. Considering there are already few million similar posts floating all over the web, I decided not to reveal it till you get here. Yes, I agree, there is absolutely no reason for you to be bothered about my new year resolutions but this can be a very useful guide for you to know what exactly you should avoid . Now publishing a new year resolution post on 9th of January and wishing all of you a happy and prosperous new year should ideally manifest my dedication, sincerity and punctuality. But before I go ahead with my earth shattering list of new year resolutions, it would only be apt to briefly describe how I spent the last day of the year, yup that’s the standard procedure. Well my New Year eve looked more like a scene from a Satyajit Ray movie with an exception of those incredible 15 minutes when I watched Don 2, ok you got it. But no Shah Rukh Khan, Farhan Akhtar or their marketing gimmicks can deceive me as long as those benevolent rebels keep uploading pirated versions of all the new releases on internet. Am I correct Mr. King Khan?
It was just another day for me as I went out for my customary evening walk. No it’s not part of my fitness regime, but to ensure that I buy enough cigarettes for an uninterrupted lung cancer experimentation. Ok so with a Nirupa Roy expression I came out of my house and immediately my long lost headache resurfaced. No I don’t have any brain tumor or sinusitis, but if 15 houses around you simultaneously play “kolaveri di” then you have no other option but to embrace that headache with open arms. When I reached the main road I saw one guy, who used to be my friend few decades ago, (I generally use past tense for all my friends after few months) in his car playing …….yup (dating his girlfriend was not a wrong decision after all). Kolavedi Di has become a rage even in my town, usually music lovers here heavily rely on Hindi songs with sporadic Bengali numbers, but in last few years songs from south broke all the barriers and traversed 4000 kms to enter our small little town. So I can safely assume that in future we will widen our range a little further and include western music in our collection as well. As of now if you ask anyone to play an English song he will promptly play “just chill chill, just chill” with a subtle gyration as illustrated in the following exhibit -
BTW if anyone can define the color of the t-shirt shown above please let me know, even Asian Paints shades card succumbed to its uniqueness. Is this actually a color or a problem with my monitor? Anyway further down I saw a few people hysterically buying beverages from the concerned shops and this war-like urgency could have been misconstrued as an impending dry state announcement. Have fun guys, I am counting on Mayan Calendar, see you in hell next year .
Ok now that you have realized that my New Year eve doesn’t actually qualify for a mention even in obituaries, let’s move on with my New Year resolutions then (mostly related to my blog):
Some of the things I have already implemented successfully e.g. a legible template for human readers. And yes a less frightening profile picture (only here, not on indiblogger), a lot of effort has gone into this picture and the reason behind this ‘Saawariya’ special effect is to hide my wrinkles and gray hair.
Also I have taken off the rating from my posts as one guy comes from nowhere, gives me a one rating every time, and leaves without leaving any traceable mark (what is this nonsense? ). Now this proves that he is a genuine reader but probably a one rating doesn’t serve this noble cause of flaunting the rating.
- Will publish a post only when I finish proofreading (yeah right). As of now I keep editing my posts even after publishing them, so if you refresh the page you might see new lines popping up everywhere or if your comment is based on a particular statement then you might want to come back later and see if that statement is still there.
- Religiously read all the spam comments which that stupid spam filter blocks. However, I have the privilege to view them in the spam folder. These comments give a whole new dimension to entertainment. And it gives me immense pleasure to announce that the number of spam comments have gone up significantly over the past few days.
- Will continue to force people to read my posts and vote for them.
- Read at least 50% of the posts I vote for
- Will stop following my own blog.
- Smile all the time; even while checking my share prices or watching Ram Gopal Verma’s movies ; “Control”.
- Hit the gym, no no don’t close the page, let me elaborate. As strange as it may sound, occasionally I do bless the gyms with my gracious presence; however, all I do there is fiddle with the music system or chatter with the instructor about Indian Idol. Not anymore, this time I will go there with a purpose, I will not fiddle with the music system anymore, I will actually play some nice songs and will have constructive discussions with the gym instructor, may be about movies.
- Find a new city/town/village to live in. Kind of getting bored of the same faces, asking me the same question everyday “so how are you?” (Completely ignore them, their lives don’t depend on your answer). May be I will explore a hill station, ask everyone weird questions, like “where is the cricket stadium?” or “where does Dalai Lama stay?” and establish my tourist status. And then go to the hilltop, look through the cloud, clench my fists and scream “o huzoor, tera tera tera suroooooor”